Got an invitation to a weekend party you are dreading but go anyway because you don’t want to feel left out when your friends talk about it on Monday? Sounds all too familiar.
As social animals that we are, we want to belong; to a group, a society, a community, a need that traces back to our ancestors. During primitive times, people would flock in groups to protect themselves from danger. Now eons later, we still have the same need to belong and to be able to feel safe.
If we are not part of a group, it curls us up in self-doubt; our survival instinct is at risk. We seek a sense of belonging in everything. Our desire to belong begins at an early age, whether it’s to a good school, a popular group, society, a neighborhood, or a belief system. Belonging has been an integral part of the human experience and is rooted in our psyche. It’s no wonder that we place such a high value on it and strive to find it in all aspects of life.
Humans want to feel included. Non-inclusion can influence our self-esteem. When others approve of us, we feel better about ourselves. When we don’t get that sense of community approval, our sense of self is affected. A cohesive group strengthens our survival instinct. Now, can you think of a place in modern times where we seek inclusion, connectedness, and approval?
It’s no secret that social media is the beautiful culprit that drives all of these things.
How Are FOMO and Social Media Connected?
Before social media, there was no constant flooding of a gazillion pictures where everybody seems to have their shit together. FOMO is tied to social media use and nothing sets you up for constant comparison with your peers like social media. So, you indulge in a vicious cycle and the feelings of inadequacy deepen. Do you see the hamster running on its wheel, yet?
How Does Social Media Trigger Us?
Social media is proof of our survival instinct. There are days when nothing seems to go right for us and then we open up our social media platforms only to see our friends doing fun things. This backfires and puts us in a state of insecurity.
A downward spiral of emotions or fear of missing out is called FOMO. We live in a digital age where you can access other people’s lives with a tap of a finger. But non-stop flooding of content means you will come across something that you are not invited to or see other people living a happier and more fun life than you.
Social media has accelerated the FOMO phenomenon in several ways. By comparing your life to the highlights of others, you become skewed about what “normal” is. You think that you are performing worse than your peers. FOMO is social anxiety based on the idea that others are having more fun or doing something more interesting than you are. This fear can interfere with a person’s physical and mental health. It can cause stress, anxiety, difficulty sleeping, lack of confidence, or feelings of inferiority.
Social media is used an average of 147 minutes a day, making us more aware of how others spend their time. Every party, vacation, and meal out seems to be documented online. But it’s also very possible to enjoy social media without letting FOMO overtake you. Remember that social media is only half of the story. Enlisting some coping mechanisms can help you push back against FOMO. Cultivating a personal sense of belonging, offline, may also help you feel more in control and secure.
What Can We Do?
Self-Care
Self-care does not mean candles and bubble baths. It means contemplation, reflection, spending time with you, and being comfortable. When you feel better on the inside, you don’t need validation from others, and you aren’t concerned about what others are doing. You are self-satisfied and content.
Meditation
Practicing mindfulness calms your agitated mind, sidesteps your impulses, and deepens your self-awareness. It helps you discover what it is that you like and don’t like, and what to indulge in, which in turn can reduce FOMO. Meditation teaches us to calm the mind, develop concentration and increase awareness.
Journaling
There is magic in writing your thoughts and venting out your emotions on paper. Journaling helps to reduce the fear of missing out while allowing us to process our feelings in a creative and constructive way. It’s a great way to gain insights into our feelings and to identify patterns in our behavior. Writing our thoughts and feelings can help us gain clarity. It can also help us to come up with new approaches. It’s also a great way to boost our self-esteem and practice self-care.
Challenging Certain Beliefs
As we grow up, we get conditioned by beliefs, that we presume to be our reality. When we challenge those beliefs, we realise that we have the power to look at life from a different perspective.
Know Your Triggers
Often, it can be helpful to figure out exactly what is causing you to experience FOMO. For example, you may find yourself feeling FOMO when you see your friends having a night out on social media. You can take a break from your phone and do something else that makes you feel good, like reading a book or go for a walk.
Talk to a Therapist
We all have our unique patterns. Decoding them helps enhance our sense of self, well-being and enhances clarity of our life purpose. This helps in reducing FOMO. Talking to a therapist is like taking a deep dive into an ocean. You don’t know what treasures are hiding beneath the surface. By taking the plunge, you can uncover new insights that can lead you to new depths of understanding.
This article is for informational purposes only. It is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. To the extent that this article features the advice of physicians, medical practitioners, or industry experts, the views expressed are the views of the cited expert and do not necessarily represent the views of Gaggler.
