A woman with denim jacket standing on a street

It’s Time to Stand Up and Ask for What You Want

Get comfortable asking at home and at work.

When I woke up the other morning, I could sense my body was holding in some stress. I usually feel it in my shoulders and with the slighttightening of my stomach. Not only did I have a morning of back-to-back meetings that day, but I also needed to renew my daughter’s visa and get a quote to sell my car. It was approaching 11am and I had to pick up the kids by 2:30pm. I could feel a tension headache brewing. 

That day could have gone two ways. A few years ago, I would have done it all by rushing around like a mad woman with a will to play the martyr card. I would’ve been a bit flustered to say the least. However, I no longer allow myself to be that way these days. It’s not an emotion that I like or want, so I called and asked if someone would pick up my kids. To be fair, that someone was my mum – I am so lucky to have her live close by to me. I learned a few years ago that asking for help is one of the most liberating actions I could do for myself, and it is essential for the following several reasons:

You Don’t Ask, You Don’t Get 

It is so easy to expect people to be mind-readers and know what we want. “I worked so hard for that promotion, of course they know I want it.” “All I wanted for my birthday was flowers and a card, and I did not get it.” Sound familiar? Asking for what we want and being very clear and specific is important as, firstly, it allows us to verbally state to people what we want. By just putting it out there, we ourselves become clear on what it is we want.

Sometimes, we think we want something, but we don’t actually know what it is, so by asking for it, we gain more clarity. Secondly, we are empowering the people around us to be able to give us what we want. I don’t know about you, but I get so much joy from giving presents to my loved ones and seeing their faces light up from what I bought them. People like to see their cherished ones happy, so by asking for what you want, you are giving people the opportunity to give. Don’t deprive them of the gift of giving!

We Get Better at Receiving

This sounds ridiculous, but honestly, just think about it for a moment. How many of us find it hard to receive a compliment? How many of us find it hard to accept things from others? The art of receiving is an important one, especially for us women who are generally givers and nurturers, and find it hard to receive. One of the benefits of receiving what we want is that it allows us to accept and receive other things in our life – like love, compliments or help – and this lightens up our lives in so many ways. 

We Become Clearer on What It Is We Need to Do

When we get good at asking for what we want, we get a clear picture of what we need to do if we do not get it. For example, say you want to get a pay rise andask your boss for one. They may say no, but at the same time, they will likely set clear objectives that will help you get it. This allows you to know exactly what it is you need to do to get that pay rise.

This is so much more clear-cut than thinking you deserve a raise, not asking for it, resenting your boss for not giving you one, your boss picking up on your resentment, and thinking it’s because you’re unhappy and assuming that you don’t want to be working there anymore, and finally concluding that you don’t deserve a raise due to your attitude. This is a more extreme example, I know, but the point I am trying to make is that if we don’t ask and then get annoyed because people are not mind-readers, we are actually harming ourselves as it causes negative reinforcement and emotions.

It Builds Confidence

It was Diwali a few weeks ago, and my daughter’s class was putting on a dance show. Only a few children were going to be doing the dance and the parents all got sent a list of names of the dancers. My daughter’s name was not on the list. Needless to say, she was devastatedon the morning of the assembly. She wanted to be in the dance, so she came up with the idea of taking the clothes she would need anyway and asking her teacher that morning if she could join the other dancers.

I encouraged her to do so, but told her that if she was prepared to ask, she should also be prepared to be turned down. She agreed and went to school full of hope. Later in the day, I got sent a video of the dancers, and lo and behold! There she was, dancing on stage with the others. What struck me about this was that she had built up the confidence to ask for what she wanted, even with the risk of being rejected. You need to be ready to get disappointed if the outcome is not what you want, but be confident enough to ask in the hopes that you might get it. 

Try to make a list of three things you could ask for this week. It could be asking your boss for that promotion you’ve always wanted, asking your partner to take the kids in the morning so you can get some alone time, orsimplyasking a friend for a favour. Remember, by asking for what you want, you not only empower yourself but also others to be able to enjoy the gift of giving. Happy asking!

Noona Nafousi is a leading life coach based in Dubai, offering workshops to both corporations and individuals as well as conducting one-on-one coaching sessions.


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Unlocking Prosperity: Three Fundamental Money Principles for Abundant Living

Wealth Unveiled: Prosperity Principles

Money affects every part of our lives. It can bring joy and security, but it can also bring stress and worry. As women, we tend to have a different relationships with money. One thing is certain though: We all want to live a life of abundance and prosperity. Here are some “Money Principles” are not just theoretical concepts, but practical guidelines that can and should be applied in our daily lives to manage our finances effectively. Let’s create a positive relationship with money.

Understanding the dynamics of money and how it works is the first step towards achieving financial prosperity. Firstly, money, in itself, is not the end goal, but a means to an end. It is a tool that can provide us with the resources we need to live a fulfilling life. However, without the right knowledge and understanding, money mismanaged can be a huge blow to our dreams and sustainability. Therefore, it is crucial to learn and understand these fundamental money principles.

The Importance of Money Principles

Money principles serve as a guide for our financial decisions and actions. It’s about creating a framework for managing our finances effectively and responsibly and help us make informed decisions that align with our financial goals and values.

Its imperative we develop a healthy relationship with money. Instead of viewing money as a source of stress or worry, we can see it as a tool without our emotional involvement. Once we remove anger, fear, lack and other negative feelings from the equation, a shift is created in our energy field. This shift in perspective can have a profound impact on our financial well-being and overall quality of life. It can help us overcome financial challenges, achieve our financial goals, and live a life of abundance and prosperity.

The Three Fundamental Money Principles

Principle 1: Spend Less Than You Earn

This may seem like an obvious principle, but it is one that many people struggle with. As of today, we are an out-and-out consumer-driven society. This is an easy trap for anyone to fall into leading to overspending and living beyond their means. This is how one gets sucked into financial stress and debt, hindering our ability to live a life of abundance. It is therefore crucial to develop the discipline to spend less than we earn and live within our means.

The first step to implementing this principle is to create a budget. This involves tracking your income and expenses and setting limits for your spending. It may require making sacrifices and cutting back on unnecessary expenses, but it is crucial for living within your means and avoiding debt. A budget not only helps us control our spending but also gives us a clear picture of our financial situation, enabling us to make informed financial decisions.

Another important aspect of this principle is to save and invest wisely. By setting aside a portion of your income for savings and investments, you are not only preparing for the future but also creating a safety net for unexpected expenses. This can also help you achieve long-term financial goals, such as buying a house or retiring comfortably. Think about building wealth over time.

Principle 2: Give Generously

What goes out must come in! True prosperity is not just about accumulating wealth, but also about sharing it and using it to improve the lives of others. We are not talking about just giving to charity, but also being generous with our time, talents, and resources. It encourages us to share what we have with others and use our resources to make a positive impact in the world.

Giving generously not only benefits others but also brings blessings and abundance into our own lives. It helps us cultivate a mindset of abundance and gratitude, and reminds us that we have more than enough to share with others. By giving generously, we also contribute to creating a more just and equitable society, which ultimately benefits everyone. Give that tip to your hairdresser, sponsor a kid, help out a local charity in UAE.

Principle 3: Seek Wisdom and Guidance

The final fundamental money principle is to seek wisdom and guidance when it comes to managing our finances. This can involve seeking advice from financial experts in the UAE, reading books and articles on personal finance, or even seeking guidance from religious or spiritual leaders. This principle encourages us to continuously learn and grow in our understanding of money and financial management.

When we learn from the experiences and knowledge of others it also helps us stay accountable and motivated in our financial journey.


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