A girl with Imposter Syndrome

Are You Struggling with Imposter Syndrome?

Learn how to say goodbye to self-doubt.

Moving to Dubai is a milestone that needs to be celebrated, and the best way to honour new beginnings is with change – whether that’s in the form of our career, family, or lifestyle. But dreaming of a different life while reality plays out is the real Dubai dilemma. Our mind always raises red flags when it sees a shift in our expected reality. Do we give up and fall back into our old habits for comfort? Will we be successful in our endeavours?

We may start questioning if moving here was the right decision, but whether it’s about moving to Dubai or not, every one of us has been at this crossroad in life. And while this is entirely normal, being at this point means that we start to develop a growth mindset and can be confused about which opportunity to pounce at. While stuck at this crossroad, being mindful about what we want is a good way to solve this dilemma. How do we get in touch with ourselves and know what we truly desire? It boils down to how well you know yourself. 

To get in touch with ourselves, we need to use the power of ‘why’. It will help us to bring out our real emotions – then it’s on us to deal with the consequences of that mindfully. The more we learn to ask ‘why’ for every subconscious and conscious habit, the more we will learn about ourselves and our reality. For every ‘why’, there will be one of two answers. We either do what we do because:

  1. We have figured out the ethics and beliefs around which we have built our lives.
  2. We are following someone else’s set of ethics and beliefs.

Getting either of these answers can be illuminating. It will help us to decide whether we want to continue our life as it is or if we want a change that will affect our life completely – only then can you beat all your mental and physical problems when you’re truly ready. Even people who reach the ultimate level of self-actualisation can feel like a complete fraud at times. They feel as if all of their achievements and accolades have nothing to do with themselves, and it was just sheer luck that got them to where they are. This is known as impostor syndrome, and it’s a lot more common than we think. 

What Is Imposter Syndrome?

Impostor syndrome is essentially one’s inability to believe in their achievements and competencies. People with impostor syndrome think that their success was only a result of their luck and wasn’t a consequence of their talent or skill. These people disregard any proof of evidence that exists to vouch for their competencies. Luckily for you, it can be beaten.

5 Types of Imposter Syndrome and How to Tackle Them

1 . The Superwoman 

This type of impostor syndrome may make you think that you’re a fake compared to those around you. To overcome this insecurity, you might find yourself pushing yourself into overdrive. You might feel insecure if you’re not busy all the time, and you find yourself giving your work more preference over your hobbies. You do this to prove that you can always be a superwoman.

When you have this type of impostor syndrome, all you think about is getting validated by others and being appreciated – not being appreciated enough can cause you to have significant mood swings. To beat this, you need to stray away from external validation. Your own validation is your main cheerleader to push you forward in life because, unless you validate yourself, the world won’t follow.

2. The Einstein

The Einstein believes that they are always the smartest one in the room. When somebody or something proves it otherwise, it makes them feel insecure. They think that their intelligence should come naturally, and if they can’t answer a particular question or do a specific job, it demotivates them. They strive towards knowledge and are always on the hunt for expanding their knowledge and skill set. To overcome this, you need to give yourself some room to grow. You might get to your decision slowly, but you’ll surely get there. Being hard on yourself for things that don’t come naturally isn’t a good approach as failing today is only a lesson for tomorrow.

3. The One Who Chases Perfection

As the title suggests, these people set very high benchmarks for themselves and settle for nowhere below perfect. Setting unrealistically high goals and then not meeting them ticks them off, and they continuously beat themselves for not being the absolute best at everything. An excellent way to combat this is to believe in yourself and accept that things take time. The world is not waiting for us to make a mistake and, if we do, accepting our mistake is a good step towards pushing us out of our comfort zone.

4. The Jack of All Trades

The Jack of All Trades believes that they should always know everything and must be able to do anything. Believing that they don’t know enough or can’t complete a specific task sets them off. They feel that they would appear incompetent to others if they don’t know a particular thing. The Jack of All Trades looks for avenues to polish their skills and knowledge in any way that they can. To beat this mindset, you should understand that being an expert in everything isn’t a requirement. Nobody expects everyone to know everything, and hoarding skills and knowledge can even lead to developing a false sense of comfort that can eventually backfire.

5. The Solo Performer

People with this type of impostor syndrome believe that they are their own person. For this reason, you might see them working alone. They do this because they crave appreciation and don’t want to share it with others. After all, working with another person means that the rewards and appreciation will also be shared once the task is completed. The solo performer doesn’t want that, believing in individual effort. 

However, one should know when to ask for help. It can be an incredible way of beating this impostor syndrome, especially when it comes to mental health, where there should be no embarrassment in asking for professional help. While impostor syndrome is very real, it’s possible to overcome it. Understanding that the world has a place for mistakes, growth, and improvement can stop you from being too hard on yourself.  

Learn more about Aditi Vijay Chandanani and her work as a Life Coach at @decodingquirks_lifecoach.


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As 2024 Approaches, Are You Ready to Unpack Your Past?

Regression therapy may be the answer.

Do you find yourself stuck in a pattern of attracting the same type of relationships and situations? This could be linked to your past lives, which could have possibly revolved around certain significant events that are now interfering with your present mental and emotional well-being. This is exactly when regression therapy can come to the rescue.

‘Regression’ means going back in time. While the body cannot go back in time, your mind, awareness, and thoughts can, revisiting the pleasure- or pain-associated memories of the past. Pleasure associations are a treat for the mind to recall as they have a satisfying and pleasant effect. However, when traumatic memories resurface, they leave a deeply draining effect. These trauma-induced memories cause emotional damage to the confidence, self-esteem, trust, creativity, and potential of the individual, leaving them feeling helpless and hopeless. Past life regression therapy is a method to explore the root cause of such traumas.

Such incidents are often overpowered and dominated by intense emotions such as feeling unloved, unwanted, and ignored. A past life regression therapy specialist is a therapist who can systematically guide the client’s awareness back in time to a specific event, retrieve missing parts, and rebuild the associations, unhealthy beliefs, and past conclusions drawn by the client. There are four kinds of trauma regressions:

1. Age Regression 

Age regression therapy is very effective. It is about going back in time to heal life events of a certain age, where a personality trait remained incomplete due to neglect, abuse, controlling attitude, criticism, situational void, or self-inadequacy. Age regression focuses on the significant events from a past life that must be dealt with to resolve the behavioural issue that the client has come with. Age regression also primarily targets behavioural problems that are a result of our wounded inner child. This inner child subconsciously holds onto toxic traits as we grow up.

We notice these traits through our relationship problems, career setbacks, family issues, or limiting beliefs that whisper at us to seek help and heal our inner child. For instance, thoughts like ‘I am not confident’, ‘I can’t make decisions with clarity’, ‘I have lingering self-doubt’, ‘I am unhappy in my relationship’, or ‘I am not good enough’ are examples of age-related trauma. Age regression can successfully help in finding the cause of this effect or toxic trait. Regression therapy therefore can be a powerful approach to healing core issues of the past.

2. Intrauterine Regression 

This form of regression span is the most important span from the types of regression therapy. Intrauterine Regression targets the perspective of parents planning to conceive a baby. The willingness of the parents to conceive a child – whether the baby was planned or an accident where the mother had no choice but to keep the pregnancy – defines a lot for the child coming. The beliefs and issues of the baby who is coming into the world can also stem from the amount of stress a mother goes through, the number of times she thinks of aborting the baby, and the support that she gets from her husband and family. These factors form the basis of the data that goes into the child by default.

For example, regression therapy performed on one couple determined that their now adult child might have some money beliefs that got formed when the parents were discussing finances while they were still in the womb. It’s also possible for the adult of today to feel unloved and uncared for as people didn’t react positively to their mother’s pregnancy. For instance, a client who had an allergy to lactose and eggs, went through regression therapy. The allergy was rooted in the trauma that the client’s mother went through. The mother followed a plant-based diet while the child’s father was a non-vegetarian.

The father of the child thought that the child would not develop properly in the womb because the mother wasn’t eating meat or protein-rich food. He then started forcing his pregnant wife to drink milk and eggs with a daily dose of protein and nutrients for the sake of their child. The mother consequently felt traumatised and cursed the child in the womb since she had to change her diet – something that meant a lot to her – for the sake of the child. This feeling from the mother then got associated with the client’s existing allergy.

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3. Life Between Life (or Inter-Life Regression) 

This form of regression therapy takes the client’s consciousness to the higher self. Further, it takes the soul to the universal collective unconsciousness to understand their life’s purpose and karmic learning for which their life path was planned. The life skills and wisdom from the divine plan and spiritual resources are to be extracted while the client is in the theta state to walk the highest path in their current life. 

Inter-life regression helps in finding out the cause of one’s traumas. When someone seeks a therapist because they feel victimised, has money issues, or faces abusive relationship patterns, the therapist seeks answers from the higher self and the soul council as to why someone attracted all these things in their life. Based on the answer to that, healing begins.

4. Past-Life Regression 

Past-life regression is the most popular form of regression therapy. It is well known across the world. However, while many agree to age regression therapy, not everyone is willing to go through a past life regression therapy because of cultural beliefs and biases. This approach requires a deep sense of understanding of the subject. Further, the past life regression therapy therapist needs to have various religious perspectives in order to not hurt or conflict with the client’s existing belief system. This involves answering questions such as: 

  • Does past life exist? Or is it a facet of my imagination? 
  • My religion doesn’t believe in past lives – what then?
  • How do I know it’s real? 
  • Is there one life or multiple lives that need healing? 
  • How many regression sessions are required to heal such deep-rooted issues? 

Past-life regression is usually done in case of psychosomatic ailments such as asthma, psoriasis, eczema, vitiligo, or chronic allergies and even severe phobic panic reactions due to height, fire, drowning, breathlessness, or claustrophobia. It is also done in cases of relationship and sexual abuse or relationship disharmony, recursive patterns of anxiety or paranoia, or a panic disorder due to fear of abandonment, loneliness, or even the loss of a loved one. There could be many reasons why a therapist might suggest a past-life regression therapy as a solution.

One such reason could be to find out the last dying conclusion or thought with which the past-life personality died. Thoughts like ‘I couldn’t secure my family’, ‘I died lonely’, ‘I didn’t have enough money and success hence my family left me’, ‘I wanted to marry this person but couldn’t be with them’, ‘I felt weak and helpless because I was raped and abused’, or ‘I committed suicide because I was ashamed’ were left unfulfilled at the time of death in the previous life, which is why the soul had to reincarnate. When a person is dying, these unfinished matters or unfulfilled desires of the past life leave behind a part in the earth realm for which the mind has to come back to heal and recover that fragmented awareness.

Frequently Questions

Is regression therapy safe?

Regression therapy, also known as past-life regression therapy, is a type of therapeutic technique that aims to address issues and explore possible connections with past experiences or lives. It is considered safe when practiced by a qualified and experienced therapist. However, it is important to note that it may not be suitable for everyone and must be approached with caution. It is always recommended to consult with a licensed therapist or healthcare professional to determine if hypnotic regression therapy is appropriate for your specific needs and circumstances.

What are the three stages of regression therapy?

Regression therapy typically involves three main stages:

  1. Preparation: This stage focuses on developing a therapeutic relationship between the client and the therapist. It involves discussing the client’s expectations, concerns, and goals for the regression therapy and types of regression therapy including hypnotic regression therapy, age regression therapy, past life regression therapy and so on. The therapist will explain the process, answer any questions, and ensure the client feels comfortable and safe throughout.
  2. Regression: In this stage, the therapist guides the client into a relaxed state, often using relaxation techniques or guided imagery. With hypnotic regression therapy, the therapist then guides the client to explore specific memories or experiences from their past. This may involve revisiting significant events, childhood memories, or even exploring potential past lives. The purpose is to uncover unresolved issues, understand their origins, and gain insights that can aid in healing and personal growth.
  3. Integration: After the regression experience, the therapist helps the client integrate and process the insights and emotions that emerged during the session. This stage involves reflection, discussion, and potentially incorporating new understandings into the client’s present life. The therapist may also provide resources or techniques to support the client in further personal growth and healing beyond the regression session.

How long does a typical regression therapy session last?

The duration of a past life regression therapy session or an age regression therapy session etc., can vary depending on various factors such as the therapist’s approach, the client’s needs and preferences, and the depth of exploration required. Typically, a session may last between 1 to 2 hours. Some therapists might conduct longer sessions if needed, while others might prefer shorter sessions.

It’s important to keep in mind that regression therapy involves delving into deep emotional and potentially intense experiences, so it’s essential to allow sufficient time for the client to process and integrate the session. Therapists often prioritize the client’s emotional well-being and may schedule follow-up sessions as necessary to provide ongoing support and guidance.

Does regression therapy work?

Regression therapy has been found to be beneficial for some individuals, but its effectiveness can vary from person to person. It is important to remember that past life regression therapy, like any therapeutic approach, is not a guaranteed solution for everyone. Some people may find it helpful for gaining insights, healing unresolved issues, and facilitating personal growth, while others may not experience the same level of benefit.

What is hypnotic regression therapy?

Hypnotic regression therapy is a specific type of regression therapy that incorporates hypnosis as part of the process. Hypnosis is used in hypnotic regression therapy to relax the client and guide them into a focused and receptive state, allowing easier access to subconscious memories and experiences. This approach aims to help individuals explore and potentially resolve issues rooted in past experiences, including childhood trauma, past lives, or other significant events.

Like all forms of therapy, the effectiveness of hypnotic regression therapy depends on various factors, such as the client’s openness, willingness to explore, and the skill and experience of the therapist facilitating the session.

Final Thoughts: Are there any potential risks or side effects of regression therapy?

While hypnotic regression therapy or past life regression therapy can be beneficial for some individuals, it’s important to be aware of potential risks and side effects. Here are a few points to consider:

  1. Emotional Intensity: Regression therapy may involve revisiting past traumas or unresolved emotions, which can lead to intense emotions. It’s important to be prepared for potentially strong feelings and have appropriate support systems in place.
  2. False Memories: In the process of hypnotic regression therapy, there is a risk of generating false or distorted memories. Memories accessed during regression therapy could be influenced by suggestion or imagination. It’s crucial to work with a skilled and ethical therapist who can help distinguish between real and potentially fabricated memories.
  3. Catharsis and Emotional Release: Age Regression therapy may trigger emotional release or catharsis as you explore past experiences. While this can be therapeutic, it’s essential to have proper support and resources to process and integrate these emotions effectively.
  4. Ethical Considerations: Past Life Regression therapy may involve exploring past lives or experiences from different time periods. It’s important to approach these experiences with an open mind and recognize the subjective nature of interpretation. Ethical considerations need to be addressed in how regression experiences are understood and applied.
  5. Sensitization: In some cases, regression therapy may cause temporary sensitivity or heightened awareness of emotions and memories. This increased sensitivity could potentially impact day-to-day functioning. It’s important to have ongoing support and follow-up sessions, if needed, to manage these effects.

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