A couple holding hands on a bridge.

Decode the Language of Love with This Quiz

Love doesn’t need to be indecipherable.

Let’s be honest, life is just that little bit tougher when we don’t feel loved, so it makes sense to prioritise what makes us feel most loved, right? Have you ever experienced a moment of confusion or disbelief when your friend, partner, or family member expressed that they just don’t feel loved by you, or that you don’t show your love when you know you’ve been doing everything you possibly could to make them feel loved? 

How could they not feel my love? Are they just ungrateful? What do they want? I don’t understand. I’m sure these feelings sound familiar to most of us. In this article, I’m going to discuss love languages in the context of how we love in our romantic relationships, but they apply to our relationships with friends, family, and colleagues as well.  

Deciphering love, in a nutshell, comes down to understanding the way we give and receive love. Five years ago, I went on a date with a girl who introduced me to a book called The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, and it blew my mind. I had no idea that the expression of love could be categorised so simply! That book went on to change and shape my life – both in my relationships and my career as a life coach. The book is an effortless read, with real-life anecdotes to back up every point, so if you haven’t yet read it, I highly recommend it. 

This book transformed my life because I was now equipped with a set of questions that would remove the pressure of trying to read the minds of the women in my life. I had five incredibly clear reference points to ensure that I was now able to express love in a way that would be best received by my partner and, at the same time, I knew how my own love tank could be filled. 

A couple laying in bed and staring at each other.

Understanding your own love languages can help you feel seen, understood and, in doing so, create better harmony with your loved ones. Remember that if you need something, but are choosing not to express it, no one is going to give it to you. It’s crucial that you learn and understand the way love speaks to you and communicate it to those who care about you. This will empower you and strengthen the depth of your connections. It also removes doubt, and limits the time wasted on wondering whether a person loves you or feels loved by you. 

The key to expressing love, in my opinion, is learning how to elevate joy and increase the feeling of happiness in the other person. Often, especially as men, we celebrate when our partner is ‘low-maintenance’, but what I’ve learnt is that apathy does not equal happiness. We could all do more to understand our loved ones so that we are able to connect with them more deeply and express love in a way that is truly felt. 

How Can You Understand Your Love Languages?

A couple holding each other by their pinkie.

You can start to easily identify your love language with two questions:
Question 1: What brings you the most joy when you receive it?
Question 2: What causes you the most pain when you don’t receive it?

Take a moment to ponder over them before taking the love languages quiz. What did the quiz reveal? Do the results feel right to you? Take some time to think about what exactly you would love to receive within these languages. For example, if you love quality time, what kind of quality time makes you feel most loved? Is it a deep conversation with attentiveness and lots of eye contact? Or is it a cute date night in a nice restaurant? Understanding these preferences will allow you to express more clearly how you feel most loved by your partner. 

Top Tips to Navigating Love

  • Tip 1: Understand your love languages first (if you haven’t already, take the love language quiz). 
  • Tip 2: Notice if the way you give love resembles the way you prefer to receive it.
  • Tip 3: Take time to really understand your partner’s love languages.
  • Tip 4: Create safety when expressing your love language, and ensure it comes from a place of “I enjoy” rather than “you don’t do enough of”. 

I once had a girlfriend that would say, “Tell me something nice please”, and I would freak out. My ego would kick in and I would become silent. As you can imagine, this only made her feel less loved. I’ve learnt that there are more effective ways of communicating, for example, by saying, “I really love it when you compliment me, it makes me feel…” or “What is a quality you love most about me?”

  • Tip 5: Be sincere in your expression of love. Seek depth and authenticity rather than merely ticking a box.
  • Tip 6: Grand gestures are not always necessary. Sometimes, something as simple as allowing your partner to rest or asking them how their day was is all they need to feel loved.
  • Tip 7: Be mindful that not everyone will be able to grasp the concept of love languages or take a love test quickly, so exercise patience.
  • Tip 8: Consider that there may be other languages that are important to you and your partner in addition to the five outlined in the quiz.
  • Tip 9: Remember that being able to fill your own cup is also a beautiful way to ensure you’re not solely relying on your partner to feel loved.

Other Love languages

Love Language

For me personally, safety and communication are huge love languages. The ability for my partner to be able to communicate how they feel and allow me to communicate how I feel without fear of judgement is incredibly important. Understandably, there are many factors that govern whether someone can embody this quality, but I wholeheartedly believe that it can be learned. 

Think of other ways that you feel loved. How can your partner learn to speak your language? Also consider appreciating the love that your partner is trying to express – even if it isn’t quite the way you’d prefer it to be. It’s not always easy to learn to express yourself in a new way and perhaps this could even be an additional love language, so I’ll leave you with this final question: can you take a moment to appreciate all the areas in your life where love flows?


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Unveiling the Power of Connection: The Impact of Relationship Counselling on Love and Harmony

Harmony Through Counselling

Relationships are an integral part of our lives, and they can bring us immense joy and fulfilment. However, they can also be a source of stress, conflict, and pain. When faced with challenges in our relationships, it can be difficult to know how to navigate them and find a resolution. This is where relationship counselling comes in.

In this article, we will explore the power of connection and the impact of relationship counselling on love and harmony. We will delve into the benefits of seeking counselling, the role of anger management in relationships, and how relationship counselling in Brighton can help you and your partner strengthen your bond.

The Importance of Connection in Relationships

The Foundation of Love and Harmony

Connection is the foundation of any healthy relationship. It is the bond that brings two people together and allows them to build a life together. When we feel connected to our partner, we feel understood, supported, and loved. This connection is what allows us to weather the storms of life and come out stronger on the other side.

The Impact of Disconnection

On the other hand, when we feel disconnected from our partner, it can lead to feelings of loneliness, frustration, and resentment. This disconnection can manifest in various ways, such as lack of communication, lack of intimacy, or constant arguments. If left unaddressed, it can lead to the breakdown of the relationship.


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The Benefits of Relationship Counselling

Relationship counselling is a form of therapy that focuses on improving communication, resolving conflicts, and strengthening the connection between partners. It can be beneficial for couples at any stage of their relationship, whether they are just starting out or have been together for many years.

Improved Communication

One of the most significant benefits of relationship counselling is improved communication. A counsellor can help couples learn how to express their thoughts and feelings effectively and listen to each other without judgment. This can lead to a deeper understanding of each other and a stronger connection.

Conflict Resolution

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but it is how we handle it that can make or break a relationship. Relationship counselling can provide couples with the tools and techniques to resolve conflicts in a healthy and productive manner. This can prevent small issues from turning into larger ones and strengthen the bond between partners.

Strengthened Connection

Through counselling, couples can work on rebuilding their connection and strengthening their bond. This can involve exploring each other’s needs, values, and goals, and finding ways to support and nurture each other. A stronger connection can lead to increased intimacy, trust, and overall satisfaction in the relationship.

The Role of Anger Management in Relationships

Anger is a natural emotion, and it is normal for couples to experience anger towards each other at times. However, when anger is not managed effectively, it can cause harm to the relationship. This is where anger management and relationship counselling can be beneficial.

Understanding the Root of Anger

Anger is often a secondary emotion, meaning that it is a reaction to another underlying emotion. In relationships, anger can stem from feelings of hurt, fear, or frustration. A counsellor can help couples identify the root of their anger and address the underlying emotions.

Learning Healthy Coping Mechanisms

In relationship counselling, couples can learn healthy coping mechanisms for managing anger. This can include techniques such as deep breathing, taking a break from the situation, or using “I” statements to express feelings. These tools can help couples communicate effectively and prevent anger from causing harm to the relationship.

Building Empathy and Understanding

Anger can often be a result of a lack of understanding or empathy towards our partner’s perspective. Through counselling, couples can work on building empathy and understanding towards each other. This can lead to more compassionate and productive communication, even in times of conflict.

Frequently Asked Questions

How does relationship counseling enhance connection and love?

Explore the ways in which relationship counseling works to deepen emotional bonds, improve communication, and foster a stronger connection between partners.

How can relationship counseling improve love and harmony in a partnership?

Delve into the ways counseling techniques contribute to enhancing love and harmony, addressing communication issues, resolving conflicts, and building a stronger emotional connection.

Is relationship counseling only for troubled relationships?

Learn about the proactive role of relationship counseling in enhancing healthy relationships, preventing potential issues, and fostering a resilient foundation for long-term love and harmony.

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