5 Habits for Healthy Relationships

Happiness by design.

The deeper your relationships, the more effort you must put into understanding them. Reviewing your relationship habits from time to time to reignite the passion, seek forgiveness or uplift your significant other is always a good idea. While relationships bring us happiness they may not necessarily be easy to maintain. It takes years of effort, emotional fortitude, and healing to preserve a healthy relationship. A relationship can be positively influenced with conscious consideration and a solid foundation. Here are 5 healthy relationship habits to consider when looking for ways to sow the seeds for a lasting and joyful relationship.

Forgiveness

We tend to fall into the most beautiful relationship with people who bring out the best in us. However, people grow and priorities change, and some relationships fade. What happens during this entire process, “defines” you and your loved one. The unhealed, unheard, and unseen bits within us from a failed relationship, remain stuck. This can lead to blame, guilt, feelings of loss, and other intense and painful emotions, and the same pattern may repeat itself in your next relationship. What can you do to break this pattern and ensure your next relationship is different?

While it may seem to be the simplest answer to conflict resolution – forgiveness – it requires self-evolution, self-love, and a willingness to be persistent. Forgiveness comes from a deep and spiritual place, and we all have the ability to forgive. Even though it may seem daunting at first, forgiveness releases you and your partner from the cycle of punishment. One way to forgive is to consciously stop dwelling on the past and be present in the current moment. Recall the last time you forgave someone. What led you to forgive them? What did you learn about yourself and others when you chose to forgive? Forgiveness comes with looking at the situation differently and determining why this relationship is important to you.

Communication is key in any relationship. It’s important to express yourself openly and honestly with the people in your life. This means actively listening to what others have to say and responding in a thoughtful manner. It’s also important to communicate your own needs and boundaries, as well as be willing to compromise and find solutions that work for both parties. It is with clear communication that we can use forgiveness as a powerful tool. It’s important to let go of past hurts and resentments and move forward with a positive attitude. This means being willing to apologise when you’ve made a mistake and accepting apologies from others.

Holiday Together

Travelling together can be a challenge but also bring about positive effects such as personal growth. It can also strengthen the bond of your relationship. Whether you go on a road trip across Europe or enjoy a staycation in Dubai, travelling brings about a well-rounded evolution in each individual and collectively as a couple or a family unit. The memories from travelling together will last forever and may provide a positive source to refuel your relationship.

It’s important to have patience with each other, honour each other’s choices, and compromise so that both enjoy the holiday. Chalk out a shared travel itinerary, research local cuisine, and agree upon the budget prior to embarking on the trip to minimise possible areas of conflict. Pack your suitcase with your favourite games for the trip. Spending quality time while travelling with your loved ones is crucial to building and maintaining healthy relationships. This means being present and engaged when you’re with them.

Mutual Respect Always

A separation, breakup, or divorce is never easy, but many have been successful at creating blended families while continuing to be friends with their exes. The mantra to a successful blended family is acceptance; mutual respect is the prerequisite for acceptance. Finding a way to experience life together, respecting each other, and lowering your expectations requires a lot of mutual respect and laying down a solid foundation. It all starts with being civil with each other and initiating a genuine level of trust. Giving small and thoughtful gifts, planning occasional dinners, supporting individual coping mechanisms, and seeking timely counselling are ways to help connect with your loved ones on a deeper level.

Blending families can be a challenging process, but with time, patience, and effort, it is possible to create a happy and loving blended family. Here are some steps you can take to create a blended family:

Set realistic expectations
Focus on communication
Create family traditions
Show respect for everyone’s feelings
Seek professional help when needed

Power of the ‘Gift’

A long-term relationship can be monotonous when life takes over. Daily chores such as watering plants, cooking a meal, picking up the kids from school, travelling for work can make one feel unworthy in a relationship if the effort is not recognised. While working together on some of the chores can be fun, it is important to make your partner feel recognised. Think, gifts! What type of gift you ask? The gift of time, the gift of words, and sure even the gift of a beautiful surprise can increase intimacy in a relationship, in a big way.

Gifting is one of the five love languages, as described by author Gary Chapman in his book “The 5 Love Languages“. Here are some key consideration of gifting as a love language:

It’s not about the value of the gift
It’s a way to show thoughtfulness and care
It’s important to receive thoughtful gifts in return
It’s not the only way to express or receive love

Recognise the love language of your partner and let them know yours. Giving ‘the gift’ that complements your partner’s love language from time to time builds more trust and rebalances the giving and receiving within your relationship.

A Working Relationship

While it may seem advantageous and easy to work with someone you love, different working styles can fracture a marriage, a family bond, or even a long-lasting friendship. But working with a spouse or partner is very much possible and rewarding in many instances. Instead of looking for a mirror image of you in your partner, pay attention to complementary styles of work to come together in a professional setting. Simultaneously ensure that the vision and mission of the organisation are shared by you and your partner and match your respective work ethics and individual styles. Lastly, it is always good to keep work-related discussions at the office and not turn your home life into a 24-hour 9-to-5 town hall.

Your relationship reflects both you and your partner, and implementing healthy habits that promote flexibility and adaptability as you grow and evolve can make you stronger together. By prioritizing the above-mentioned habits, you can create and maintain meaningful relationships. Remember that each relationship is unique. It takes time and effort to cultivate and maintain a healthy connection.

This article is for informational purposes only. It is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. To the extent that this article features the advice of physicians, medical practitioners, or industry experts, the views expressed are the views of the cited expert and do not necessarily represent the views of Gaggler.

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The 5 Relationship Issues Therapy Can’t Fix

Fraught and Complex

Couples often turn to therapy as a means to navigate through their issues and rebuild their connection. While therapy can help improve many aspects of a relationship, there are certain issues that therapy may not be able to fully resolve. We explore five common relationship issues that therapy may struggle to fix. Let’s see why they persist and alternative approaches to addressing them.

1. Lack of Fundamental Emotional Compatibility:

The word ‘fundamental’ points to the level of incompatibility that turns up in communication styles. Like, difficulty expressing emotions or clashing attachment styles. These days there are tons of videos on Instagram explaining how attachment styles sometimes lead to this issue being unfixable. The truth is that while therapy can certainly provide tools and techniques to improve communication, it may not be able to alter deep-seated emotional differences. It is best to seek support from experts who specialize in individual emotional growth. The next step would be to explore if the relationship’s emotional limits can be reconciled.

2. Fundamental Values Misalignment:

When couples have differing beliefs and values regarding major life decisions, therapy faces its limitations. These include starting a family, having children, steering the development path of a child, looking after their own individual career goals, around or religious practices (not to mention fanatic political views). The challenge is to reconcile deep values that impact the direction and fulfilment of each individual’s life. Take the time to consider if a compromise is possible or if the misalignment is too significant for a successful long-term relationship. Usually, later is the case.

3. Unresolved Past Trauma:

Trauma experienced by one or both partners can alter the relationship dynamics. Therapy can help individuals heal and provide a safe space for discussing their trauma within the context of the relationship. However, unresolved trauma may continue to have a ripple effect on a couple’s relationship. This ends up leading to recurring patterns of emotional distress and difficulty in fully trusting one another. The trust is neither formed nor do the individuals allow for trust to form. The patterns create blockages as well as manifestation of more traumatic experiences within the couple which leads to a complete breakdown. In such cases, individual therapy or trauma-specific therapies may be necessary to fully address and heal from past traumas.

4. Constant Power Struggles:

In some relationships, power struggles become an ongoing pattern that hinders intimacy and growth. Add to that, the pressure of family dynamics, egotistical expectations and selfish career choices. It’s a sad situation in the life of this couple because even though therapy can provide strategies for improving communication and resolving conflicts, it may not be able to fundamentally shift the dynamics of power imbalances. Power struggles often stem from deeper-rooted issues such as a lack of respect, parental avoidant behaviour in childhood, control issues, and other unresolved childhood experiences. Drug abuse and substance overuse adds to the problem. Additional support, such as personal growth work or couples coaching, may be beneficial.

5. Irreparable Betrayal:

Betrayals, such as infidelity or a breach of trust, can rock the foundation of any relationship. While therapy facilities open dialogue and forgiveness, it may not be enough to repair the deep wounds caused by betrayal. With the blame game that often becomes a pattern in such situations, rebuilding trust takes time and a commitment from both partners to actively work on restoring the relationship.

When it comes to relationship challenges, therapy also has its limits. It’s crucial to recognise that certain issues, such as those listed above, may require alternative approaches or support beyond traditional therapy. Remember, every relationship is unique, and finding the right combination of support and strategies is key to overcoming obstacles and discovering a path towards a healthier and happier future together.