Are you enjoying the modern-day dating arena? The abundance of dating apps, social media platforms, and online dating websites has created such a challenging landscape for daters with women still feeling the burden of putting up a formidable and impeccable online presence to find their perfect match. While increased access to dating platforms makes it easier to connect with people, knowing deep within that you are lovable as you are is the starting point and end point to developing the emotional resilience needed to navigate the modern dating scene.
Tip 1: Know Your Worth
In the world of dating apps, at times it can feel like there is a real shortage of compatible, right-fit partners if you focus on how they are showing up in the online world. You may easily feel like love is too much of a reach or that you have to accept or put up with sub-par behavior. It’s critical to have a strong sense of self and anchor of self-worth to avoid the pitfalls of settling. Ask yourself “What kind of behavior do you want to experience from someone you’re dating?” and that’s a pretty good starting point to identify what you need to look out for.
Tip 2: Quality Over Quantity
Given the plethora of dating options, desensitisation is a very real possibility and leads to women engaging with multiple partners simultaneously. This is a slippery slope that often leads to confusion, loss of focus, and a lack of genuine connection with any of the shortlisted partners. Therefore, it is recommended to prioritise quality over quantity from the outset and place a greater focus on a few but meaningful connections.
Tip 3: Don’t Compare Yourself to the Highlight Reel
Social media plays a significant role in modern dating. Going through social media profiles of potential partners has become essential to gather more information before committing to a date. However, this can be a dangerous strategy to rely solely on especially if you make comparisons of your life with the idealised, filtered lives of others. It’s important for women to remember that social media only shows the best moments in people’s lives and not their everyday challenges. Therefore, take what you see on social media with a big grain of salt.
Tip 4: Show Up With Authenticity
In modern dating, people have been so emotionally wounded by ghosting, false representations, and careless communication. The norm is texting, DMs, or video calls before people even take a chance on meeting in person. People show up guarded and closed off. Ironically, dating success lies in showing up as your complete self even if it’s challenging and allow people to get a real sense of who you really are.
So, it’s important to show your personal power, your inner magic so that both sides can determine if there’s greater magic, or a match, to be made.
Tip 5: Scan Your Filtering System
We’ve already established that there are an infinite number of options whether it be dating apps or potential partners. There’s literally a whole world of possibility. But we can’t date everyone, can we? So the question really is: “How do we filter in a way that’s effective and true to our values?” There’s 3 ways to know if you have real chemistry and a real chance at long-term compatibility.
Is there emotional attraction? Emotional attraction refers to the feeling of being attracted to another’s personality, heart, soul, or other emotional characteristics. Many use this term to describe a deep connection they have with someone else. Sometimes it may coincide with physical attraction, but that’s not always the case. So ask yourself, “Does this person make you come alive, make you feel safe and special in this relationship?”
Is there physical chemistry? Many times, physical connection leads the charge and people jump straight into a physical relationship (and nothing else follows), or the physical connection is put on the back burner and they rationalise that it will come because they are more focused on the fact that the person looks great on paper. Physical chemistry is important. So ask yourself, “Does this person make me feel attracted to them when they are in my physical space?”
Is this relationship the foundation to build a friendship? Thinking of friendship is important because ultimately it will become companionship. Companionship is a friendship that develops over time and if you are looking to build a long-term relationship then friendship/companionship is an important ingredient. Here, shared values are important to evaluate. Is this someone you want to be around, a lot? So, ask yourself, “Is there enough here to progress to the next step in this relationship?”
This filtering system is a useful one to be mindful of. But have fun! Remember, you’re only meeting someone for the first or second time. You don’t have to have all the answers right now or assess their lifetime potential just this minute. Remember to flirt. Take the pressure off. And don’t be afraid to make a move. Claim your own power to create the relationship that you want to have.
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A Calming Kit for Busy Daters
Dating is complex and with the right mindset, women can successfully navigate this modern world of love. Once you’ve met someone and forged a light connection, ask yourself the three questions we shared here and focus on exploring the next step, leaving the whole “lifetime commitment” question on one side, for now, just until you get to know the person better, and they know you better.
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